Because I am done with, and I am moving.

OMG I AM SO BLOODY FUCKING ANGRY. KNNCCB CADERINA, FUCK I HATE YOU.
I HATE ALL OF YOU FUCKING BITCHES. WHAT, BOOB BIG WIN LA
FUCK THIS SHIT.

GOODBYE! WE ARE DONE WITH!
SHOULD HAVE KNOWN RIGHT FROM THE VERY START.

Work VS you

I feel so stressed up. Things should be better now that he's a thousand miles away. Yes, it did get better. But... now, things are getting so bad. And I really mean B.A.D.

He has to study, and now that I am having my holidays, I spend my days working. But he aint happy about that. He thinks I am neglecting him cause I work so much and I keep extending my hours.

To be fair, yeah, I know. Its 3 hours of difference. But... what can I do at home the whole day? I'd just start thinking about ridiculous stuff... I know myself too well.

Argh. Holidays are supposed to be fun.

Seriously, damn fucked up. I feel so stressed up now. Home sucks too, and I wanna move out.

Earthquake

Every time you hurt me
I know that's it's working
Making you mine
Every drop of thunder
Only makes me stronger
On the inside

I need to talkkkkkkkkkkk

As a disclaimer, I dont see why I should be judged on my own thoughts. I mean, if you are here, and you are judging about what I am saying, then I am so sorry, maybe you should just shoo. You dont deserve to be here. Its private, its my blog.

=====================================

Aite, days have been really busy and I guess its a really good thing cus it takes my mind off some stuff which are, well... If I should say, horrendous. It may sound really masochistic to say this, but I actually like some panic. I mean, if it can take my mind off those stuff, why not?

Life is tough. My mind isnt very bad, but it hasnt be really smooth sailing too. Valentines' nearing, and I am losing my valentive slowly. How's that? If I say I dont give a shit about this, you know for sure that I am kidding. Who is able to put down something that has been in existence for 1 whole year without feeling any remorse, qualms of regretting? Of course, unless you have never loved at all, which shall not come out as much of a surprise.

I know I havent been really good, but I havent been really bad either. I know, one mistake, and that makes you a criminal for life. Thats what majority of the people think. But think again, what about those who really wanna change?

In any case, I just detest the fact that people just wanna pick on the other just so he or she seems to be so much better. I mean like come on, there's a limit to everything. People just have to understand that sometimes, we apologise not because we really think that we are wrong. We just dont wanna make things worse, and we love the other party just a tad too much and wouldnt want to quarrel about stupid things like that for it aint worth the time.

People dont get it, they just put their noses higher up, thinking that they've won. But little do they know that in actual fact, they have lost. I cant exactly put my finger to what is it that they have lost for my brains aint working, but I know that they definitely lose something much more than an apology.
===========================================

Anyway, can I ask you girls something?

What if... your boyfriend doesnt allow you into his house though (for) you have been crying even though you are already right outside?
What if... it rains, but he doesnt bring the umbrella for you and doesnt care about you walking in the rain with your tears?

For Fiona, think about ACY doing that.
For Jenn, think about Alvin.
For Theresa, think about CS.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Omg, so morbid.
Ok, I would like to see some response... Please?

P/S: I am NOT referring to anyone in particular ad if you are getting angry over this, thinkabot why you are angry over what I am writing. Hit the bull's eye?

Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I’m just destined to be alone.

people are so weird, you tell the truth, you get dissed.
you make up a story, you get dissed as well.
what should we do so that we dont get dissed?

moreover, i know things aint, and wont be the same already.
facebook is not everything. but it is an indication.

mark the date. 5th of feb. its over, for real.
fuck yourself up down left right, daphne.
you could have been on your way to shopping right now.
fuck yourself.

release?

i totally understand how jennifer felt back in sec4 where she ...
its kinda like a release. an instant relief from all that you dont wanna feel.
its like you know it going to be just for that little while, but you just wanna feel that way even if its just for 10 seconds.
yilynn is an even better example. hers is way worse, and she says she regrets doing it. but hey, at that point of time it must have felt really awesome, didnt it?

its amazing how you can be crying your eyes out but when you sit down with the tool, you just feel so calm. its like the calm before the storm. it just neutralises your mood so much.

life sucks, yes it does. because what you give doesnt = to what you receive.

okay bye people...

While running...

I've come to realise, its really important for me to be slim. Even if not for myself...
I really dont like the fact that boys like slim girls. Okay, I know, slim = pretty, and it sucks for fat girls like me. Its not like I wanna be fat, but its just in my genes. Especially my thighs. I hate them more than you do. But I know them better than you do. They wont become skinny just because I go running diligently.

Much as I wanna slack and do nothing about it, I think whats more important for me is to do something about it. No point complaining about it. No one will love me more for this.

Whatever the case, if 2.4km wont make me slimmer, then perhaps I have to do more. Granted, I know I cant run 2.4 x 2 = 4.8km at one go, but I probably can run 2.4km and brisk walk the other 2.4km.

I shall do run at least twice a week.
I shall not have dinner cause it makes me wanna puke when I run.
I shall not eat fried stuffs cause they make me 2837198417245times fatter.
I shall not have chocolates.
================================= till the end of march, at the very least.

Life is tough.
You know what I wanna be? No you dont, but I shall tell you. It should sound really absurd, cause it sounds ridiculous to me even. But I am going to try. It doesnt hurt to dream, it doesnt hurt to work for your dreams, does it?

I wanna become pretty.
I wanna become skinny.
I wanna become smart.
I wanna become someone "un-readable".
I wanna become a headturner.
I wanna to have awesome grades.
=================================

Okay, time to shower and start on my sequence diagram. So sorry, Shermaine. I feel so bad. :(

Should I?

Hmmm, I'm planning to get something.
Should I book a sentosa chalet?
But what if end up he not free?
I want it to come as a surprise, but there are so much to consider...

ARGH!!
ok my class ended, haha gotta go home get my clothes and go off to work already!
Poor me...
:(

Sunday.

So, every felt like you're out of nowhere, misplaced and unwanted?

Ohwell, so apparently you aint worth a single shit, cause you are dispensable.
this sucks, because everything you thought would be so perfect was in fact just a dream.
a dream that cannot come true unless... everything gets back on track.

I need to know. I want to know, if its all really my fault and that you are the angel who is never wrong.

============== edited. 10.35pm

Okay, I am home and have showered. :)
Time for me to chiong my SDT proposal.
A matter of fact?

Things arent going well, and i hate that.

b's granny's bday

9th Jan 2010.

today was good, but the ending was terrible, and it still is.
wonder if its me.
or is it you?

i wanna talk about it, but there's no one for me to talk to.
i wanna talk about it, but there's no one around to listen to me.
i wanna talk about it, but its already 1.37am in the morning.
i wanna talk about it, but i cant tell anyone, at least not anyone who knows him because i know he wouldnt like it.
i wanna talk about it, but i just wanna run away from it.
i wanna talk about it, but i dont wanna say it all out.
i wanna talk about it, but i dont want it to be real.
i wanna talk about it, but i....

TELL ME HOW?

New look

Omg, I am so tired! But hey, my hardwork pays off! :)
It looks so much better than before.

HAHA, time to go to sleep!
Got to wake up so early tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a good day!

Hi, my girlfriends!

Hello, the 8 of you! :)
(Though I know not all will read... But still.)

Please be prepared, that this blog will be filled with lots of angry posts, upset posts, so if you are looking for sweet nothings or some really civilised posts, guess you've come to the wrong blog. There might also be sweet posts, who knows?

But then again, do leave your comments yeah? There wont be a tag board here. Just comment me under all the posts. :)

HAHA, and please dont talk about what I write about here outside this platform alright? Its meant to be kept under wraps, thats the only reason why its... Private. And only you 8 will be reading it.

Alright, thats all for my disclaimer.

Till my next post,

Private

I will make you private. :)